Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Readjustments

:: My favourite brown wool fedora, vintage store purchase :: 'Blues Brothers' Ray Bans knock-offs, bought during a trip to my parents in Neustadt :: 'Brownie' striped tee, American Eagle :: Key to My Heart earrings, made by me (Artbeads.com Design Partner Portfolio) ::

Harumph ... well, hello everybody.  It's been a while, but there's been progress!  Nick and I have been rather busy living the 'starving artist' life while trying to enjoy the finer things.  Well ... trying is the operating word here.  We're fortunate to be doing what we love, where we feel we make the most impact, where we are the most productive.  Teaching theatre has been rather enlightening and humbling (more on that in The Pursuit), and it's sucking the energy out of me to create anything in the realms of accessories or jewelry.  Not to mention the crestfallen heaviness of closing shop on Etsy.  Oh, crap.



Nonetheless, I find the time and opportunity.  I know, I've dropped off the face of the earth again - but I've been working!  Readjusting the schedule has been tricky, and I haven't been feeling confident as of late.  Lately there's been a great boost in things, and a spiral seems to happen whenever I trip over the metaphorical pebble.  Again, the idea of teaching anything that I've learned simply by trial-and-error seems like a ridiculous notion to me, but I think it's because I hadn't really organized myself yet.  This goes for theatre and art; what I do here, my jewelry, I consider art, and I learned it all from 'feeling it out'.  Betcha a lot of you started out that way, too.

I mean, don't we all?  Didn't we as kids?  Don't you mothers out there fret over the fact that your daughters and sons want to take ballet lessons and play hockey, spend hundreds of dollars on leotard and shin pads, only to be selling the gear - skates included! - for $50 or best offer in next spring's garage sale.  Don't we still do the same thing as adults to a moderate degree?  I had given my father a clarinet for Christmas a few years ago because of his severe determination to learn it in his retirement years.  He's been retired for about three or four years now and has barely picked it up.  That thing cost me $500.  Just as guilty when I was a kid when it came to flute, karate, hockey, dance, guitar ... there's probably a dozen more or so.  We feel things out until we find something that is our magnet, in a way.  Our polar field that allows us to focus and master.  Some find a few different outlets, some are trying a few out to see where they fit.  Now that I've found a few different ones, I'm trying to find where they all fit in this rich opportunity of an artistic life I seem to be leading now.

Once I find the discipline in all this, confidence will rise.  My lack of confidence doesn't necessarily lie in my ability, but my execution.  I have an idea of how it should turn out, what it should look like.  I'm just not too sure my brain can catch up with my cognitive functions to instruct.  I just go for it, y'know?

Painting and visual art frustrates me.  I don't think I have the patience for colour mixing, waiting for it to dry, I guess.  Jewelry is something I can enjoy immediately, something I can throw together the afternoon before the big night out, so to speak.  Something unique that transcends the perfect outfit, turns 'casual' to 'chic' (pardon the cliche).  I'm still refining that style, and I'm enjoying the process at my own pace, discovering more techniques and processes on the way.

It wasn't very fun closing the Etsy shop, but when you're one person against the world, so to speak, it can get a little overwhelming.  Not to mention the Canada Post strike didn't help business either, possibly being the reason for the loss of now five of my customers' packages domestically and internationally.  Sometimes, it's just best to cut ties when you're at a loss.  Maybe I'll return, maybe not.  I'm not too sure yet.  I still want to share my stuff, though, and some other cool stuff I found that inspires me.  I'm hoping you'll stick around and it'll inspire you, too.

In the meantime, I'll be restructuring the blog a little differently.  New pages, new graphics ... I might even try out that new Dynamic View, if it tickles me.  Let's see how I feel today.  Let me know what you think, too.  Constructive criticism is essential.

I've got loads to share.  Keep posted for some cool stuff here and at my other blog, The Pursuit - I've got a really cool story about Colin Farrell.

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